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Furthermore, we cannot expect everyone to provide all four types of trust, this ensures we keep our expectations in check, so we do not get easily disappointed. I have realised it is vital to understand the types of trust different individuals have in our lives, and we need to know who to rely upon for certain challenges or situations we face. Consistency: Those who are present and available for help when you require it, for example a really close friend.
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Character: Those with a robust moral conscience, and strive to uphold their values, such as a mentor or role model.Care: Caring about your well-being above all else and what is best for you irrespective of your success, such as a family member.Competence: Having the necessary skills to figure out an issue, for example a Subject Matter Expert (SME).Like forgiveness, it can be broken down into four types: It is something that needs to be earnt and cannot be attained overnight. Trust is a precious commodity it is the building blocks to successful human interaction. Humans are often their worst enemy and harshest critic, so it was fitting for me to read about the Golden Rule: “Treat yourself with the same love and respect you want to show others." The thoughts we say to support our friends through tough times should be the ones we say to ourselves. The concept of "monkey mind" occurs when we feel anxious or flustered, instead of divulging in negative emotions we must practice self-compassion. Jay's formula for this: Passion + Expertise + Usefulness = Dharma if we have both passion and are skilled within an area. The challenge for us is understanding when we find our dharma i.e. We find our "dharma" when we optimise our strengths to serve others in the world. When these intersect (think Venn diagram!), you can say you are living your dharma! This resonated strongly for me, being a young person in the beginning of my career, with the whole concept of finding a career with "passion" and "purpose." "Dharma" is a Sanskrit word meaning "your calling." Throughout the book, Jay uses Sanskrit terminology- and he describes dharma as a combination of "varna” (passions and skills) and "seva” (understanding the world's needs and serving others selflessly). I believe this is something we should all strive to achieve. Transformational forgiveness was eye-opening for me, as it encourages us to reduce our ego and not hold any resentment towards an individual. This is very common in the relationship between a parent and a child. Unconditional forgiveness: This is considered "saintly," when someone forgives another, no matter what happened.Transformational forgiveness: This is based on the concept of "goodness." It happens when an individual forgives another without expecting anything in return.Conditional forgiveness: This is a transactional form of forgiveness and very common, you only forgive the person if they apologise.Zero forgiveness: This non-existent forgiveness is fueled on anger.This has a multiplier effect on our own happiness and self-esteem!Īs human beings, we may find it hard to forgive- you may have heard people say, " be the bigger person." Jay describes the various types of forgiveness and the responses involved:
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This process provides space for thoughts and emotions and creates greater reflection.Īdditionally, I learnt about the Sanskrit word 'mudita' - taking sympathetic or unselfish joy in others good luck. In fact, research suggests happy individuals do complain mindfully, for example through writing negative emotions in a journal, which can be used as an alternative to ranting. I found the "swap" process quite insightful. Jay explains the process of "Spot, Stop, Swap." In this process we understand feeling the issue(spot), taking a break and addressing the root of it (stop) and exchange it with another thought or sentiment(swap).
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Think like a monk how to#
Over the past few months, I had the pleasure of reading Jay Shetty's "Think Like a Monk" and seeing how to apply "monk principles" in daily life and it had a profound impact for me. We think of monks as those with "higher" or "enlightened" ideals, but…. Perhaps it is the sight of an individual with head shaved, wearing orange clothing, eyes closed and meditating in nature. When we hear the word " monk", what comes to mind?